I needed…

I needed YOU and your Love as well but you said NO!!



About elaineofsweden

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3 Responses to I needed…

  1. That’s why we get into trouble Elaine…our expectations. Once a need for something comes up we have to ask ourselves why. Most are driven by a fear and some of those are quite deep within that we are afraid to look at because they are so painful.
    I have been afraid of not being loved all my life and so any rejection tears my heart to pieces, shadows me with thoughts of being unlovable, useless and having no worth. But now in hindsight after really looking within, I realise it was from my childhood, being (what I thought), was a rejection from my dad that began this long road of fears that were quite relevant until recently and a few events let me see what was driving those needs.
    It was quite a shock as I thought i knew what I was inside, what my needs were and how in control of my life I was.
    WRONG. I had just hidden the bits I didn’t want to see, and when they did come to the surface, like at the end of a relationship, it was so painful…but for a reason. It was so that slowly I would see things that I had repeated in all my relationships and understand it was MY fears that were driving the problems. Yes, I attracted a beautiful soul who was that one person that would press all my buttons…but with great love so that I could step through those things that were holding me back and not allowing me to see that love within. My fears were holding back that thing that we all seek within and yearn for all our lives.
    Now I understand this and no longer go looking for that thing within. I now know if I look into my heart and ask truthfully ‘what are my fears’, and go looking, they will come forward so we can feel them, understand them, and let them go. The release of those weights hanging around our necks is immense as they affect all our lives in everything we do.
    After letting go of my fears, and I do admit they can take a little while as they have been hanging around most of our lives 🙂 , everything begins to change. No more ‘what if’s’, just a letting go, a freedom like no other as my time is no longer carrying these projections into the future, i am now just relaxing and enjoying each day as it comes. Yes, you need to think ahead for what your having for dinner tonight or what should you wear to a party…but…not in a way that it takes over your life. That beautiful soul inside is worth so much more than that and you need to treat it accordingly. Give that love to you…and I promise that what then does happen, is YOU begin to shine, glow with a beauty that cannot be matched with a dress or make up. it is your heart that can now be seen AND felt by all around you…and in that you will attract from exactly where you are now at…not what went before.
    Big hugs for a beautiful lady Elaine. You are just being asked from within to release those things that are holding you back and find the beauty within. Promise. Mark

    • Thank´s Mark for your long and openhearted answer! You have coming a long way and I hope you can feel you are so much loved my friend, you are a very special person, caring about others, thank you for that! I love to read your Words and there is Always something to learn from you:-)
      Yes, I know, expectations..but at the same time if I love someone I want to spend more time with that person, begin to Dream of maybe moving together in the future and get engaged..like a confirmation of our love,..(but I don´t want to get married)..plan for travelling together, having fun, adventures..I Think thats natural how the thoughts can go for most of us…However those thoughts are gone now…I have realized my love for him was true but his love for me wasn´t and of course that hurts, for a while I wanted to die but I took me out of that by myself and I have tried to do the best of the situation. I was deepest down in the darkness but today I enjoy Life and my warmth has coming back. So true, sometimes we see just what we want to see…I had to realese some more things.

      I will try to look at myself inside Little deeper and see that light I know/I feel I have inside 😉
      Think I will go out for a walk soon…
      Many Hugs back to you

      • Well done Elaine. That is very beautiful what you have expressed here. Just be gentle with yourself, these things don’t happen overnight, they take time so that we can understand that journey we have just been on and we can integrate what we have learned.
        Then next time we will be in a more understanding and loving place with someone. Eventually it is in loving ourselves totally, openly that will allow us to remove all those expectations on ourselves and others, and then we can move into a relationship freely, no longer being held back by those fears that rule our journey.
        Enjoy your walk, it is very grounding (especially barefoot, it literally grounds us if our bodies are out of balance), and will leave you feeling very refreshed and at ease 🙂

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