Intresting to see…

Intresting to see what the future holds…
Could it be a man without any skeletons in the wardrobe?
A man who is ready with his ex and others, who is down to earth, caring and faitful? A man who sees me and want me to be happy. A man who see the value in a true love relationship with me, who will spent time together/travel to really learn to know me, he will sure feel good and have fun and much more:-) As a male friend said: The man who gets you will be a really lucky one!

Yes, when time is right he will show up. I am a very varm, caring, understanding woman but he must know if he let me down and let me feel unsafe on his Love I can be cold as ice, close my Heart and leave without a word.
Today I know that it depends on that my father left me as a child, he didn´t care much at all, he had no time for me, he let me down, promised me a journey and other things but I can´t remember I got anything from him. I didn´t even got a present as a child on my Birthdays from him, not even a birthdaycard ( but remember once when I got a big toy icebear from his brother how happy I was). Of course I was disappointed time after time, but although I didn´t care too much. I was a happy child mostly because I had a wonderful mother, grandfather/grandmother and others who loved and cared about me. I was raised up in freedom under responsibility and am grateful for that.

When I was around 20 my father suddenly wanted more contact with me, he phoned, wanted us to meet and we did but in a way he felt like a stranger to me. He talked much, told me how beautiful and intelligent I was, but could I trust his words? It was always him who took contact and he really tried to reach me. In my Heart I forgave him but I didn´t need him in my life so I closed my Heart and we will have no more contact.

*********************************************************
It´s difficult to change another person but you can change yourself to the better! I will start tomorrow:-)
and try to think out of the box!

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About elaineofsweden

https://elaineofsweden.wordpress.com
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3 Responses to Intresting to see…

  1. Hi Elaine. It has been a very difficult journey and the hard part is, the one you wanted love from (your father) has unintentionally taught you to block your heart (because you don’t want to be hurt by the one you love). And also unintentionally we put those expectations of a love on others and when they don’t live up to them, we close our hearts again.
    The hard part IS in truly understanding ourselves and why we act in a certain way. Forgiving another is difficult but it is in forgiving ourselves, loving ourselves that the true journey begins.
    If you look deeper into your dad’s life, you may find that he also felt unloved by those he looked up to, and learnt to close his heart off as well so that he was not hurt.
    As we learn these things, unintentionally, we pass them on. It is now up to you to look within and see if your heart has walls of concrete or walls of love and be able to release them.
    I wish you love and blessings to find your true heart. Namaste

    • Thank´s Mark!
      Yes, I guess my Heart has been little blocked during my life. However i opened it up for one man and felt unconditional Love for him but he let me down and I was so hurted but tried to not show how hurted I was. I understand now it had been better if we had talked about it so I could release it but we didn´t.

      Probably my father did what he could after his ability and today, right now I can feel Love for him wherever he is.

      I will look into my Heart, what if the walls are of gold:-)

      Wish you a Lovely Day!

      • Then if you find gold, the gold of your truth…then you will be the richest women in the world! It is worth more than any of the finest things in this world, for it creates happiness and a love of self that goes with it. I wish you well in your search within, the outcome will always shine out from your heart by who you become. Namaste

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